More than a decade ago, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding being hosted on the opposite side of the country. Participating in the wedding was costing me nearly $4,500 with my dress, hair, makeup, gift, flight and hotel over a holiday weekend, rental car, meals, etc. I was already in no position to be forking over that kind of money, but I did it anyway.
No one knew that at the time, the only meal I could afford to eat each day was my free meal at the event venue I worked for. When it was announced that the bachelorette party was also across the country at a spa, I knew there was NO way I could attend. Thankfully, the bride was understanding of my decline to take part in the bachelorette weekend.
Taking part in a wedding party can be a huge financial strain for many. As a bride (or groom), I politely ask you to acknowledge the following before being upset that someone in the wedding party has declined to take part in your 3-day weekend halfway across the country that is jam packed with pricey activities and a themed wardrobe:
- You may think you know the financial status of your wedding party… you likely do not (those of us that have had to live paycheck to paycheck, which is currently 78% of American’s, cannot afford this trip)
- Giving the wedding party “a year to save up” does not change the fact that their bills and daily living needs have to come first. They may also need to pay for childcare, pet care, etc. on top of the party travel expenses.
- A bridesmaid or groomsman declining to attend does not mean they don’t care (I see this comment SO often in social media groups)
- If the tables were turned (and maybe you’re in more than 1 wedding in a year), could you afford it?
Anyone else down for normalizing the old-school bach parties?! That doesn’t mean you have to throw on a sash and tiara to go bar hopping (non-alcoholic parties & weddings are on trend for 2025!). Why not try:
- Charcuterie Class
- Nostalgia Sleep Over (old movies, childhood snacks & games, etc.)
- Daytime Beach Trip (if close by) or Pool Party
- DIY Tastings (wine, cheeses, chocolates, etc.)
- Fondue Party
- Thrift Shop Scavenger Hunt
- Escape Room
- Crafting Party (especially if you need help making décor for the wedding!)
- Local Comedy Club or Live Music Performances
- At-Home Spa Treatments
Helping YOU say ‘I-DO’,
Your WedUcator