Just as wedding décor, color palettes, and wedding attire trends evolve, so do many of the long-standing wedding traditions that your mom and grandma are asking you to build into your timeline.
Are these traditions a total faux pas? Not necessarily. Do your thing. If I’m being transparent though, it’s been years since I have planned a wedding that wanted to incorporate a few of these fading traditions:
- Receiving Lines After the Ceremony: It’s probably been 10+ years since I last planned a wedding that included a receiving line. While it is 100% appropriate for the couple to greet and thank all guests for attending, a long line of chatty family members or friends you haven’t seen in a few years is not the time or place. Receiving lines can drastically slow down your wedding day timeline. Not to mention, it’s incredibly boring for the guests bringing up the tail end of the line. Save greetings and thanks for the reception.
- Bouquet Toss: Let me tell you how much I LOVE being publicly called out for being unmarried. Said no one, ever. They likely won’t tell you to your face, but at LEAST 50% of your single female friends cringe and/or try to hide to avoid having to be singled out (yep, pun very much intended).
- Garter toss: I’ll say it. This just gives me the ick. It’s awkward for the bride to have a head up her dress in front of a room full of people. It’s awkward for the groom to be all up in his bride’s (likely sweaty and Spanx clad) business in front of a room full of people. It’s awkward for that room full of people, to watch. And it’s even less fun for the single guy that gets smacked in the face with a garter that has been between two sweaty legs all day.
- Sweetheart Table: Another that I haven’t done at a wedding in several years. Instead of being on display at a table you’ll likely sit at for about 10-20 minutes total, couples are opting to sit with parents or with their wedding party at a family style table (vs that giant head table that has to be extra-long to accommodate large wedding parties).
- Cake Smash: You spent a lot on the cake. You spent more than you planned on the dress. Your makeup artist is a genius with their setting spray and your makeup is still perfectly intact. Why ruin any of it by smacking your new spouse with a handful of fluffy sugar?
- Cake for All Guests: As I type, eggs are currently $7.99 a dozen where I live. No wonder cakes are expensive! Less expensive dessert options are one of the best ways for guests to put their personalized spin on their big day, cut costs, and appeal to those that don’t like cake (GASP… yes, they exist!).
- Guest Books: I’m going to touch on this one again in a few weeks when I post my favorite reception money savers. Be honest here. When are you going to sit down and thumb through a guest book to remind yourself of who attended? The photos you paid a LOT of money for will remind you of who celebrated with you. It’s 100% fine to skip this outdated tradition.
Several more wedding ‘traditions’ have begun to fade in recent years, allowing couples to put their personalized stamp on their big day:
- Even Wedding Attendants on Both Sides: One of you has more siblings? The other has fewer close friends that they want included? Five on one side, seven on the other? Go for it!! Even standing “on a side” or standing at the altar with the couple is starting to evolve.
- Matchy-Matchy Bridesmaid Dresses: I’m probably dating myself here, but remember the scene at the end of 27 Dresses when all previous brides donned the bridesmaid dress from their wedding? While ditching the matching dresses doesn’t have to be quite as eclectic as that scene, I love that prints, different hues, non-matching necklines, etc. have become the bridesmaid norm.
- Wedding Party Entrances: This is another that your wedding party likely won’t say to your face, but most dread having to “make up a dance” as you enter (or having to learn a choreographed dance). Your guests watched your wedding party enter/exit once already at the ceremony. Their names are likely on your wedding website. I’m a HUGE fan of skipping the wedding party entrance and getting the party started ASAP!
- Long Toasts & Too Many of Them: Who wouldn’t love hearing heartfelt and sentimental toasts from their loved ones? While it’s kind and appreciated, too many toasts and toasts that seem never ending are not a guest favorite (us wedding planners hear everything). I’m on board with asking ‘toasters’ to keep it short or skipping all together.
- Giant Centerpieces: Not only are they expensive (and difficult to store/transport if you DIY’d them), XL centerpieces make it difficult for guests at a table to converse. Less can be more, in this case.
Next up… the traditions that likely are not going anywhere…
Helping YOU say ‘I-DO’,
Your WedUcator