I’m going to preface this one since I know it will ruffle some feathers. This is OPINION. There is no right or wrong here. Is there an element of politeness, tradition, and appropriateness? Of course. Do all planners have this same mindset? Nope. As a bride or groom, only YOU know what works best for your budget, your guest list, and your sanity. This is more so one of those “for your consideration” posts.
In a world where a wedding can cost the equivalent of college tuition, it’s understandable that guests lists need to be trimmed in order to stay within budget. Or, there may be reasons unrelated to cost that a bride or groom is not comfortable allowing a single guest to bring a +1.
When a couple asks my opinion regarding inviting a +1, I respond with:
- If the guest is married, spouse is automatically invited
- If a guest is in a long-term relationship and/or lives with their significant other, I encourage a +1**
- If a guest is in a newer relationship and budget/space allows, I encourage a +1**
- If the guest is single, consider budget, space, and number of other single guests being invited, before deciding**
- Put yourself in the shoes of your guest before making your decision
**(the fine print): Guests that attend with a +1 are more likely to dance, participate, and remember your wedding fondly, if they have someone to share the festivities with.
The “+1” decision can vary per guest and can be very situational. By no means does your +1 decision have to be the same for every guest (but be prepared for nosy guests to question you, unfortunately).
- Your MOH’s long term boyfriend known to be aggressive or like to show off his WWF moves after a few cocktails? Pass.
- Your brother’s new GF of just 2 months seem to fit right in with the family, already? Bring her along!
- Lifelong friend have a long-term girlfriend that is known to be rude, negative, or start drama if the spotlight isn’t on her? She can stay home.
Bottom line… the decision is yours.
Check back in a few weeks for more on how to trim your LONG guest list!
Helping YOU say ‘I-DO’,
Your WedUcator